Post-Travel Warps Your Everyday 'Normal' Life and Causes Heartache. (It's Good for You)

When you travel internationally a ton, your sense of reality when you get 'home' is forever warped. Forever.  You can't escape it.  Sensory-triggered memories from your past adventures interject themselves into the most unexpected moments of your present day, and you find yourself doing double-takes into the present and past.

It kind of feels like when you think you've seen a loved one who has long since passed away, which sounds super depressing, but I find that all these 'time travels,' actually make you feel pretty tripped out -- then pretty sad because you miss traveling so much.

When you prepare for a trip, everyone gives you tips on what to do, what to see, and all the stuff to prepare for.  The pre-travel.  But no one really tells you how to deal with what will happen after -- then again, you can't prepare for the memories you haven't yet made; you can only be prepared to know you'll hurt, which is, in my opinion, the best part of traveling: the embrace of being fully, completely, utterly vulnerable.  

The face of vulnerability: you, your backpacks, and a smile.
What you need (eh, for the most part) to take on the world.

All of this is, of course, if you're an introspective, individual traveler like I try to be, not some "I stay at the Ritz only" traveler.  Take that as you may.

If you're a backpacker, for example, or some rendition of it, here's what will likely happen after you return home after a long, 3+ month trip abroad.  The more dissimilar in culture and language to your own country, the more these will ring true:

1. You will experience heartache. You won't know where to even pinpoint that constant desolation because the mix of people met, things seen, memories made, are all to blame.

2. You won't be able to see landscapes at home the same way.  I've always grown up near the ocean, for example, and when I moved to SF and would take walks along the Embarcadero, I would immediately think of my afternoons at the Opera House in Sydney, Australia.  And then when I was recently in Buenos Aires, running along the river at Puerto Madero, I felt like I was back at that same Opera House.

My pics below.  See what I mean?

Sydney Opera House | Sydney, Australia

Embarcadero | San Francisco, California

Puerto Madero | Buenos Aires, Argentina

After you travel, you can be anywhere, close your eyes, and go through your mental rolodex of similar experiences that will zoom you to another time, another land, another period of life, another emotion, even.  I'm telling you -- it's a trip.  (Awful pun not intended)

3.  You will miss the friends you made abroad so, so much.  I've never been in the army, but I am sure the bond I have with the friends I've made abroad resembles the notion of 'band of brothers/sisters.'  I mean, some of us - complete strangers who met in hostels, by the way - went through Carnaval 2014 in Rio together - the environment of which is similar to a battlefield, I am positive (truly, the city looked like it got blown up with confetti and costumes and colors, but that's another story).

Carnaval 2014 in Rio: I met up a friend, who is from Sweden but we met in Buenos Aires, then formed a group of friends from Brazil, France, UK, Norway!

All joking aside, when you travel, you meet like-minded people who are all vulnerable but happy to be raw, open with each other.  No one has their walls up like they do back at home: what unites us is our willingness to using our differences as the bridges of commonality.  Read that again: we use our differences as a unifier.  Back at home, our differences usually divide us.  When you're around people who are, for the most part, all incredibly accepting and seeking to learn more about differences, or to find a unification in a differences, the result is beautiful.

You realize we as humans are all the same. We share humor and we all want to be loved and included. Then you start hashtagging all your photos #oneworld like I did.

At a hostel in Buenos Aires with new friends from (left to right): Brazil, USA, Angola, Peru.  We could only speak broken Spanish-Portuguese to communicate, but we did it.  We'd go out dancing together, cook together, everything.

The most international and fun crowd - truly, we were like a family - on our last night in Rio.  People here are from EVERYWHERE.  

On my last day in Rio with my sweet friend from Finland, who is an acrobat (no joke - it's her profession).  We bonded over our intense love for food, specifically ice cream.  A Finnish acrobat who loves ice cream?  Of course we'd be friends.  That's amazing.

4.  If you can be proactive about it, you'll catch yourself paying attention to the people at home that you used to ignore, because you pay attention to them abroad.  I've volunteered in a favela in Rio, trekked through a slum in Nairobi, and throughout those experiences gave more of my attention and heart to the people I met there than I have cumulatively back at home.  They were actual people, and I was amazed at their struggle through adversity.  Then I came back to SF and found myself walking past the homeless who sleep in their own feces everyday on the street and realized how immune I have been to them.  (That's a whole other problem of SF, but I won't get into that now)  I now start paying more attention to them and giving to them in responsible ways, as much as I can. People ALL around the world need helping hearts and hands.

5. Generally speaking, your values will change due to more perspective.  Especially after you visit Africa, and I don't mean an Abercrombie+Kent safari visit to Africa.  I mean a visit to a slum in Africa, or whatever politically correct term I should be using for "slum."  You'll stop complaining more, because damn it, you will realize you were freaking lucky to have won the genetic lottery and to have been born into a country of power and privilege.

Some very young kids I met in the slum in Nairobi.  When I am with kids here in the USA who complain about nonsensical or material things, faces with huge smiles like these always flash in my mind.  

**

Lately, memories of South America have seeped into my everyday life, causing mental detours from work or conversations I'm having with people:

It's a Monday and I think about how I need some coffee to get through the day.  And then I immediately stop myself and think about the miners I met in Potosi, Bolivia, who don't need coffee to just make it through a day -- they need to chew coca leaves to give them energy and suppress their hunger for the whole day so they can work in the underground dangerous mines their whole lives.

Basilio, who started working in the mines at age 13 and is now 22.  He's featured in this documentary, "The Devil's Miner": http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/devilsminer/

I eat a piece of chicken, then remember the time someone made me chicken at his home in Buenos Aires and wonder: how is his shop doing?  Did he finish school like he said he would?

I listen to a song on Spotify and remember the time I was in a car on a bumpy, dusty road in Kenya when the same song came on the radio, and how I was incredulous yet tickled at how music transcends cultures.

I could go on.  The main point is that a lot of people experience what is called "Post Travel Depression" -- but when you travel a ton, this sentiment lasts forever.  Meh, it's not depression, but it's certainly a heartache that will lace itself into the everyday actions that create your subsequent life.  This I why I am such an ardent supporter of the Gap Year: the earlier you travel and are exposed to REAL people/culture/life-outside-your-bubble, the more those experiences can take part into shaping the DNA of who you become.  (Global Citizen Year is the Gap Year org I've recently really been digging, BTW)

Travel will also make you more emotionally open and resilient.  Each trip you go on, you know you may later be hit with pain and heartache, but you go ahead anyway: and you love it.  Moreover, the more you do it, the more you start finding solace in that once uncomfortable feeling of being vulnerable.  

The feeling is different.  It's raw.  It's empowering.  And every time your 'reality' is reminded of a past travel memory,  you crave to travel once more.  It never ends.  

"Once you have traveled, the voyage never ends, but is played out over and over again in the quietest chambers.  The mind can never break off from the journey."
- Pat Conroy

Thoughts on Fairness & Moral Responsibility from a Hotel in Nairobi, Kenya

In the past 5 months I have traveled for work&play through Bolivia, Brazil, Argentina, now Kenya, and in the next week, Tanzania.  The most consistent lesson that keeps astounding me, WAY more than any sightseeing, comes from my conversations with all these different types of people.  Humans, regardless of race, are so smart and have the capability to do most anything: they just need the resources, the opportunity, and a culture of DRIVE to scoot them along.

I sat today for hours alongside Kenyans, some (not all) of whom work in the slums of Nairobi & have dedicated their lives to improving literacy for young girls/single moms/children in dangerous, brothel/crime/etc. ridden areas, and their energy was profoundly humbling.  These people were all educated, spoke PERFECT English and used SAT-worthy vocabulary words that admittedly I don't even use, and most importantly have this crazy thirst to seek better resources/opportunities for their lives.

"It's hard for us with everything to understand what it's like to have nothing."

If we could all live with an ounce of this urgency/need to be better.  Doesn't mean we have to go & save the world, just dude - be better.  Be useful.  Take your education seriously.  Do something with the brain/opportunities/life you've been given.  I am sad for those who I've seen throw their opportunities - especially in the Western World, where they are so, so fruitful - away.

It's also not fair.  If anything, do it for the other people who don't have what we have.

From South America back to San Francisco: the Next Chapter

Tomorrow I start a new job back in the city that I left six months ago.  It's not just any new job though; it represents the mark of when I started leading life with my heart.  (I like this phrase better than "following my heart")  Let me explain.

Since college, I wanted to accomplish but two things:

1. Travel and volunteer "for an extended period of time" in South America
2. Work in the cause-related field, preferably international in scope

We all have our dreams, reasons private to ourselves, and those were mine.  Simple.  And kind of vague, but hey.

Well, college was about five years ago, and in those five years I either ignored those dreams or catered to their half-ass counterparts, compromising these desires for more conventional, safer options.  

Don't get me wrong -- the "compromises" I made turned out to be some of the best experiences I've had and many people would just die to have them.  This is what I did instead:

1. Taught English in Thailand and consequently backpacked around SE Asia for six months. My heart really wanted me to go to Chile though, but I was too scared to go somewhere no one I knew had never been.   
2. Worked in the for-profit marketing world, where I worked with some of the world's most recognized brands and got to throw huge parties at shwank events like Super Bowl and Coachella and other painfully LA-cool things like that.  Staying in this industry, I then moved around from Los Angeles to San Francisco, where I thought moving cities might calm my travel jitterbug down.  (It didn't)

Of course I learned so much from these experiences and would never, ever take them back.

During these years, those primary two goals of mine grew from whispers to shouts in my ears, and I just couldn't ignore them anymore.    

To fulfill Dream #1, I up-and-quit my corporate job in San Francisco last October, packed my stuff into a backpack and backpacked/volunteered/traveled through Bolivia, Brazil, and Argentina for three months. Quitting was only itty bitty scary because at that point, stepping into the unknown in pursuit of a dream felt 100x more right than forcing myself into submission.

I hadn't booked a return flight, but I just figured I would lead with my heart, see how I felt, and trust the process. 

Trust the process I did. The trip changed my life, but I knew exactly when to come home -- all signs pointed to my return, including a health-related one! -- and when I did, Dream #2 seriously fell into my lap.

Well, I should rather say: opportunities fell into my lap due to previous seeds that I had sowed.  So really, hard work + luck + preparation made Dream #2 fall gracefully into my lap.  Everything figured itself out within two weeks of my return home.  It was incredible and almost unbelievable, except not, because by that point I had started believing that anything could happen.

****

So, tomorrow marks the beginning of a new chapter and a new mindset that I hope I will always remember to follow and will pass along to my children.  

• Always remember to lead with your heart, no matter how uncertain it might feel.  Push through the uncertainty and know that each step is a dot that will eventually connect to the next dot.
• Always question what is "normal" and live your most authentic life.  Never settle.  We are individuals and are meant to stand out.
• Allow yourself the freedom to dream.  Even if you can't pinpoint what it is that you want, keep following the voice that keeps calling out to you.  Like the Sirens in mythology (except not dangerous), just follow their voices and then dive right in.  It's your life.  Get sucked into it.
• Believe and visualize where you want to be and don't let anything take that image away.  As Roald Dahl once said, "Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."  So believe.

What is amazing too is that I will get to witness this organization's work on-the-ground in Africa within a few days of me starting this job.  I never thought I would be here, but I am.  I am finally at the Chapter that deep down, I always knew would be written.   

"What a shame": is that your life? Why you need to adopt a "change-or-die" mentality

I woke up on a Sunday in early August 2013 and laid in bed for two hours, tangled in the sheets, staring at the ceiling while the fog of San Francisco rolled by my bay window, asking myself for the millionth time, "can I really do it?"  That's how life felt at the time, actually: I felt my life was just steadily passing by and all my goals in life were becoming clouded.  I was drifting away from my authentic self and saw that person -- soon to be a ghost -- peering at the real me through that window, shaking her head, shaking her head.

What a shame.

Throughout the next few weeks, I felt the presence of that person in every situation of my, truth-be-told, charmed life: steady and challenging corporate job, awesome apartment in San Francisco, an abundance of the best friends anyone could ask for, good health.

But as I moved through the motions of everyday life -- getting coffee to 'break up my day' in that cubicle life, happy hour, exercising -- I knew I was feigning happiness and well, running from the gnawing feeling inside me.

That person kept whispering to me as I conversed with coworkers, with friends: "This isn't you.  Not yet.  You haven't lived out the next chapter of your story yet."


Maya Angelou once said, "there is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you", and that untold story in my life was a burning desire to travel long-term to South America and to work in a cause-related field.  I'd wanted to do this for six years (six years!) -- I can even go back to journals in college where I documented this -- but had chosen to suppress them as I chose to live out a more conventional, safe life (which I am not not-grateful for!).  I still took what others might see as risks, but looking back, I realized I had settled to make decisions that were, to me, 'the next best compromise.'

All of those compromises finally caught up to me: little fragments that had accumulated and snowballed into a cancer I could no longer ignore.  That hypothetical person's voice grew from a whisper to a shout; she dominated my conversations with others and overpowered the old thoughts in my head.  I became obsessed, really obsessed, with the idea of quitting my job to travel and to make the plunge to another field.

I talked about it so much that it became real.   "I want to go to South America" became "I need to go to South America" became "I am going to South America."

There was no other option but to make it happen.

I became sick of hearing myself talk through this hypothetical person than be the person.  This reminds me of when people say, "I am living vicariously through you."  Yay, but no.  We need to live vicariously through ourselves.  

I knew I had to start being about it rather than just talking about it.  Seriously, the feeling was so strong that I was positive I had never been more sure of anything in my entire life.

I had a moment where I snapped, and in a span of a very quick few weeks, I quit my job, soon moved out, and used the money that I had been saving -- yes, I had been saving for years for this -- to embark on a three month solo journey in South America.  No job secured after, but I didn't care. 

To not fulfill this dream of mine was the equivalent of shutting the door in the face of a loved one who came to me, asking for help.  The dream was a part of me.  I had poured my heart's blood, nights waking up in a sweat, and tears into it.  If I denied it, I would have killed a part of my soul.

"Killed your soul."  Cut the drama, right?  Whatever.  Life, for people who are passionate to live it, is "either a daring adventure or nothing at all", as Helen Keller put it.  Life IS a drama.  Our lives are stories that we have to write ourselves.


So I went on my solo trip.  December 2013 - March 2014.  It was the trip of a lifetime, and I have always hesitated to use such a grandiose statement.  Bolivia, Brazil, Argentina.  Memories, people, places that will forever be woven into every ounce of the soul that was once at danger of being lost.  It really changed my life.

Do you know what happened when I came back?

I was rejuvenated, enamored with humanity, and curious yet again, yes, but amazingly, everything else lined up in perfect, perfect timing.  Job offers in the field I wanted all along, within days of each other.  I promise, when you decide on something, the universe WILL conspire to make it happen.  It has happened to me.

Change is no longer on the horizon; it has passed and it is here to stay.

"Embrace the Fall."  Me at Iguassu Falls (Brazil), January 2014.

******

"Change-or-die" is the mentality I had to pull myself out of a situation that I was content with, but not full-on enamored with.  And you should be enamored with the life you're living, because why not?  You deserve to live out your dreams.  Fear is what holds us back -- I had a fear of this unknown for six years -- but once you break through it, confront it, and let the door hit it on its way out, I am telling you, you will open up so much more room for confidence and ideas and excitement to manifest within you.

Is there something you've always wanted to do?  Take the step now, even if it's just a small one, to do it.  Heck, the last thing I wanted to do was to look back on my past and label it a wasted youth: "what a shame" that I didn't live up to my potential.  Hell no.  Too many people let life happen to them; you have to take control and make things happen for yourself.

Who wants to just exist?  If you want to truly live but feel like you're just floating, waiting for the next best compromise, snap out of it.

Change or let your soul die.  It's your choice.  When all your cards are on the table like that, you best bet you will light the fire and make it happen.

How Quitting my Job and Chronic Dissatisfaction Helped me Find Happiness

One of my most favorite scenes in a movie is from 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona', when Penelope Cruz, with her perfectly disheveled hair, passionately accuses Scarlett Johansson of having “chronic dissatisfaction”: “Chronic dissatisfaction, that’s what you have. Chronic dissatisfaction.”

I like that scene because she's talking to me, figuratively. I also imagine that if Penelope Cruz were talking to me, literally, I would be pretty pleased with that.

All jokes aside, I just turned 25 and I quit my job about a month ago. This was my third job in a reputable sector, where I had spent a few years in tech marketing, then half a year in automotive marketing in LA then SF. I got to host shwanky parties at Coachella and run the show at SuperBowl and shake Joe Montana's hand – but quickly, because of course I had to run off to meet 'the people' at The Rolling Stone magazine for some meeting. It sounds so, terribly LA cool.

The truth of the matter was that all of this wasn't for me, so much so that I lost 10 lbs during one stint and even considered work-related counseling. If you know me, breaking down like this is the antithesis of me: I can handle a lot, learn quickly, perform well, shoulder others' burdens, and run my life a million-miles-a-minute. My packed calendars from high school and the University of Southern California are so colorful that I get cross-eyed looking at them now. My roommate during this particular dark period called me “the iBanker boyfriend that she never had” because I was gone all the time and had a devoid look in my eyes. I honestly even considered trying smoking to ease my stress. Please keep in mind that I can barely handle second-hand smoke in Vegas.

All of this is funny now.

The reason for the stress was more than the hours and what I often deemed unimportant stress; it was as simple as the fact that I was not listening to my heart and yet, kept making career decisions that were totally against my “calling” in life. As an extremely cause-driven, bleeding-heart type-of-girl who posts inspiration quotes on her mirror, I was disgusted with myself for spending 80-94% of my day exerting energy and brainpower on things that didn't matter to me. But I masochistically kept at it because the path was safe, familiar. I also am not the type of person who knew at a young age that I wanted to “be” a designated profession, so I couldn't quite pinpoint what that exact next step would be. However, I kept thinking that I could grow to like something, or that moving to a new city and having new adventures, could help me cope. It didn't.

For three years, I lived in a parallel mindset: I lived a “real self” but had an “ideal self” whose paths I thought could never intersect. Despite the confidence I exuded, I felt completely inauthentic. If my heart was the penny in the pool, I wasn't even swimming in the water to try to find it; I was standing at the edge of the pool, staring at my reflection and feeling trepidation about how cold the water would feel.

One foggy Sunday in SF, about eight months after I had moved there, I woke up at 8am on a Sunday and just stared at my ceiling for two hours. It was a moment I will never forget because this was the moment that I became sick of myself. I was sick of hearing myself complain and for making decisions without truly assessing their implications. I was sick of feeling unhappy. I wanted myself to shut up, to start “being about it” rather than “talking about it.” If I was going to be away from my family but not fervently chasing a dream or listening to my heart or whatever, then I saw no point in me doing what I was doing just because “I need to.”

A word about risk: moving to a new city is, to many, a big risk, but I found this to be 'the next big compromise' for me. After sharing my journey with many, I'm finding that not many people think like this; especially at my age, they want to start establishing roots and building a comfortable life. I, on the other hand, start feeling extremely suffocated once I feel myself settling somewhere. Visualizing a future in the corporate world with fun romps around SF, which is an insane and insanely fun city, suffocated me. Depending on your outlook on life, I either have commitment issues or I am just a free spirit. Your call. Either way, I would not have traded my experience in SF for anything. That city changed my life by providing mental clarity through the fog.

From that moment on, I embraced risk and became my own personal coach. It took months for me to gather the courage to tell myself that I could leave my job and take a leap into the unknown. Various blogs and aphorisms helped me tremendously with this period of transition:

• Brazen Careerist's article, “How to Succeed as a Multi-Passionate Careerist” 
• The quote by Maya Angelou, “There is no greater agony than the untold story inside of you.”
• The blog, “Live in the Grey”
• The quote, “If you don't like where you are, change it. You are not a tree.”
• My friend Ellen Huerta's article, “Why I Left Google"

I was on a path to reclaiming my life, and when I finally pulled the trigger on my job and set dates for moving out, I cannot begin to tell you the physical and emotional changes my body underwent. I literally started dreaming again because the imagination part of my brain was unlocked. I actually had fewer urges to write because my journal had always been a source for me to paint my “ideal self”. I had finally taken the step to bring those pages to life. A coworker approached me once and said I was looking radiant. Other than the fact that I had just highlighted my hair, I do think it's because I was smiling more.

My plan now is to go abroad, volunteer, and perhaps find full-time work in a sector that captures my heart. I have saved up my own money to support these endeavors but also know I am fortunate to have an incredible family and friend support network who have housed and supported me through this process. I completely get that I am extremely fortunate to even have this opportunity to have a chance to re-align my career and not have to worry about health or financial issues – the thing is with life though, is that you never know what's going to happen, hence why I am seizing the day. Carpe Diem. My mindset has done a complete 180; rather than being fearful and asking “what if”, I feel more fearless and see this world as a place of endless opportunities that are at the fingertips of so many people who have the tools to better the world and better themselves.

It feels so, so good to be lost in the right direction. More importantly, it feels good to embrace this ideology and not force myself into the wrong direction. The concept of choice is not often taken seriously, but we must prepare ourselves for our choices and dig deep to know why we're doing what we're doing. I'm enjoying the journey, the present moment, and not caring what others think because we are all on our own paths. I have faith that all the dots will connect and that my choices will surmount to something great. Fears and success are nothing but a state of mind. I may be called crazy or naïve, but I would rather embrace the unknown and give my heart a go rather than constantly living in a stagnant, half-dead state of mind. Too many people let life just happen to them and I refuse to be like that. Life is fun. Life is an adventure. Life is a wild ride. Start driving.

As for “Chronic Dissatisfaction”, Karl Lagerfield once put it this way: “I live in a state of permanent dissatisfaction. I think it's the key to doing things well.”

2012 in Review

It was a year of change - the most I had ever had in my life thus far.  It was a year that, down the road, I'll be able to pin-point as the beginning of something new; of my quest to become, well, me.  It was 2012, and it's ending in a day.

Holidays this year seemed to have a greater impact on me this year.  I'm sure the increase in gratitude toward my family, friends, and current situation, as well as my acknowledgement of the amazing pouring of blessings that rain down on me every day by me simply living, is due to the amount of changes I went through this year and also the recent Sandy Hook tragedy.  May those angels rest in peace.

It's funny how tragedy and death always put life into perspective; how the leaving of another's soul causes us to make the selfish - but necessary due to its reflective nature - examinations of our own souls.  Though I underwent many life changes this year, Sandy Hook will always be a 2012 marker for me; the lessons I took away from the anguishing story are so on par with everything else I learned this year from all my changes.

IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY.  This was my biggest lesson this year.  You never know when life will be taken from you.  I went through "hard times" this year, emotionally, due to some career stress (truly #firstworldproblems, if I am being honest, for having woes within a job is a "good problem" to have), and I leaned on my parents so, so hard.  I think the job stress I went through was for me to emerge on the other side with a greater appreciation for them.  I've always loved them, of course, but going through what was one of my more difficult periods, with them by my side, meant the world to me.  I'm so insanely fortunate to have two parents who, despite our quirks and quips, love me unconditionally.  This lesson has made me re-examine how I approach companionship in my life.
 
CARE WHEN IT MATTERS.  Don't sweat the small stuff, or don't sweat when you don't actually care.  Does that make sense?  Again, life is too short to dwell.  We'll make mistakes, we'll have to deal with the consequences.  I did a lot of things this year that, in my heart, I didn't think through 1000%.  I didn't know what the end goal or outcome would be, but I did it, expounded probably too much of my own energy, got worn down, bounced back up.  January to May of this year were the most hellish of my life; now, I'm happier than ever.  I've learned that we can't control or know everything now, so when faced with decision-making time, make one, don't turn back, and deal with it if and when any issues arise.  No use wasting energy on things that don't happen.

GET ONE GEAR TURNING.  My friend told me her Mom's anecdote on life: we have many gears that we need to turn: a career gear, a romantic relationship gear, a family gear, a friend gear, a personal gear, etc. etc.  It's not just hard -- it's nearly impossible -- to get more than one or two gears turning at the same pace at once.  If you can get one gear turning, consider yourself blessed.  Work hard to get that gear turning as quickly as possible, and appreciate that gear as being the positive force in your life.


PATIENCE FOR THE PEOPLE WHO MATTER.  Going back to the lesson on family, I learned patience.  It's easiest to get upset with the people who are closest to you, and ironically, these people matter most.  So I learned to be patient.  Similarly, I learned to be patience with the person who matters most to me: myself.  As a member of Gen Y, I expect success instantaneously.  I work very hard, sure, but beat myself up over where I was going in life, what I had or had not accomplished, etc.  But maybe that's the beauty of my story: my journey is one of self-creation; there's not a Point A, Point B to my beginning and end of success.  When consoling me one day through my quarter-life crisis, my Dad used Daw Aung Saan Suu Kyi as an example: she had to be under house arrest for 12 years before really getting recognized acclaim from Burma.  Now, how should I expect success tomorrow if she, one of my heroes, clearly had to wait?

HAVE SOME FUN EVERY DAY.  Sometimes I can be very serious and pensive.  When I'm in a moment of introspection, or when I'm focused at a task at work especially, or home, I get very serious, seemingly tune others out, and put a game face on.  I'm learning to see the humor in these situations now, and am trying to laugh more at the little things.  It helps that my roommate is probably one of the wittiest (and sweetest, kindest, most wonderful person) women I know, so it's rubbing off one me!

"MY ONE FOR TODAY".  This was a brief project of mine this year, to tumblr one thing I learned or was gracious for that day.  I was so easily getting sucked into negative thought as I wallowed about how lost I seemingly was - but I pulled myself out by remembering that there's always beauty in the day.  There's always a lesson.  Plus, my "problems" are very, very insignificant compared to other real problems in the world.  I'm very blessed.

When looking back at 2012, I see a year where I took a job half-heartedly, got my energy zapped, changed my persona in a negative and toxic way, made a quick decision to move cities with a half-secured plan, and bounced back to enjoy life again.  To live out my goal to visit one new place a year, I visited many US cities for work: worked Superbowl in Indianapolis, IN, saw Detroit, visited Kansas and Missouri; then toured Eugene and Portland, OR and Seattle, WA with college friends.  Pretty good, for also exploring my new home city! 

I learned that you can fall in love with a city, and the feeling can be as real as falling in love with a person.  I sincerely love San Francisco.  It's magical, and the friends I've made up here, the memories I'll forever keep, are for the books.  

It was a year when I - the girl who was always seen as independent by others - finally felt independent for myself.  2012 marked the beginning of me becoming a true me.  I had no idea I'd be where I am now, but I'm so grateful for my life and everyone in it.  2013 will be great. 

Blessings to all.

50 Quotes on San Francisco

Taken from someone else.

1. One day if I go to heaven…I’ll look around and say “It ain’t bad, but it ain’t San Francisco”. (Herb Caen)
2. San Francisco has only one drawback - ’tis hard to leave. (Rudyard Kipling)
3. You know what it is? (It) is a golden handcuff with the key thrown away. (John Steinbeck)
4. San Franciscans are very proud of their city, and they should be.  It’s the most beautiful place in the world.  (Robert Redford)
5. If you’re alive, you can’t be bored in San Francisco.  If you’re not alive, San Francisco will bring you to life.  (William Saroyan)
6. Of all cities in the United States I have seen, San Francisco is the most beautiful.  (Nikita Kruschev)
7. I prefer a wet San Francisco to a dry Manhattan. (Larry Geraldi)
8. The cool, grey city of love. (George Sterling)
9. I never dreamed I’d like any city as well as London.  San Francisco is exciting, moody, exhilarating.  I even love the muted fogs.  (Julie Christie)
10. I don’t know of any other city where you can walk through so many culturally diverse neighbourhoods, and you’re never out of sight of the wild hills.  Nature is very close here.  (Gary Snyder)
11. San Francisco is 49 square miles surrounded by reality.  (Paul Kantner)
12. The ultimate (travel destination) for me would be one perfect day in San Francisco.  It’s a perfect 72 degrees, clear, the sky bright blue.  I’d start down at Fisherman’s Wharf with someone I really like and end with a romantic dinner and a ride over the Golden Gate Bridge.  There’s no city like it anywhere.  And, if I could be there with the girl of my dreams, that would be the ultimate.  (Larry King)
13. Leaving San Francisco is like saying goodbye to an old sweetheart.  You want to linger as long as possible.  (Walter Kronkite)
14. There’s no question this is where I want to live.  Never has been.  (Robin Williams)
15. San Francisco is one of my favourite cities in the world…I would probably rank it at the top or near the top.  It’s small but photogenic and has layers…You never have problems finding great angles that people have never done.  (Ang Lee)
16. When you get tired of walking around in San Francisco, you can always lean against it.  (unknown)
17. You wouldn’t think such a place as San Francisco could exist.  The wonderful sunlight here, the hills, the great bridges, the Pacific at your shoes.  Beautiful Chinatown.  Every race in the world.  The sardine fleets sailing out.  The little cable-cars whizzing down The City hills….And all the people are open and friendly.  (Dylan Thomas)
18. In all my travels I have never seen the hospitality of San Francisco equalled anywhere in the world.  (Conrad Hilton)
19. Your city is remarkable not only for its beauty.  It is also, of all the cities in the United States, the one whose name, the world over, conjures up the most visions and more than any other city incites one to dream.  (Georges Pompidou)
20. It is a good thing the early settlers landed on the East Coast; if they’d landed in San Francisco first, the rest of the country would still be uninhabited.  (Herbert Mye)
21. What fetched me instantly (and thousands of other newcomers with me) was the subtle but unmistakeable sense of escape from the United States.  (H.L. Mencken)
22. The City of San Francisco (the metropolis of the State) considering its age, is by long odds the most wonderful city on the face of the earth.  (G.W. Sullivan)
23. You have in San Francisco this magnificent Civic Center crowned by a City Hall which I have never seen anywhere equalled.  (Joseph Strauss)
24. Every man should be allowed to love two cities, his own and San Francisco.  (Gene Fowler)
25. Of all American cities of whatever size the most friendly on preliminary inspection, and on further acquaintance the most likable. The happiest-hearted, the gayest, the most care-free city on this continent.  (Irwin S. Cobb)
26. No city invites the heart to come to life as San Francisco does.  Arrival in San Francisco is an experience in living.  (William Saroyan)
27. God took the beauty of the Bay of Naples, the Valley of the Nile, the Swiss Alps, the Hudson River Valley, rolled them into one and made San Francisco Bay.  (Fiorello La Guardia)
28. I always see about six scuffles a night when I come to San Francisco.  That’s one of the town’s charms.  (Erroll Flynn)
29. San Francisco! – one of my two favorite cities.  There is more grace per square foot in San Francisco than any place on earth!  (Bishop Fulton J. Sheen)
30. I don’t think San Francisco needs defending.  I never meet anyone who doesn’t love the place, Americans or others.  (Doris Lessing)
31. San Francisco is Beautiful People wearing a bracelet of bridges.  (Hal Lipset)
32. San Francisco is the greatest…the hills…fabulous food…most beautiful and civilised people.  (Duke and Duchess of Bedford)
33. I love San Francisco.  It would be a perfect place for a honeymoon.  (Kim Novak)
34. Now there’s a grown-up swinging town.  (Frank Sinatra)
35. I don’t like San Francisco.  I love it!  (Dorothy Lamour)
36. Two days in this city is worth two months in New York.  (Robert Menzies)
37. I’m just mad for San Francisco.  It is like London and Paris stacked on top of each other.  (Twiggy)
38. San Francisco is poetry.  Even the hills rhyme.  (Pat Montandon)
39. I love this city.  If I am elected, I’ll move the White House to San Francisco. Everybody’s so friendly.  (Robert Kennedy)
40. I like the fog that creeps over the whole city every night about five, and the warm protective feeling it gives…and lights of San Francisco at night, the fog horn, the bay at dusk and the little flower stands where spring flowers appear before anywhere else in the country…But, most of all, I like the view of the ocean from the Cliff House.  (Irene Dunne)
41.  We’re crazy about this city.  First time we came here, we walked the streets all day – all over town – and nobody hassled us.  People smiled, friendly-like, and we knew we could live here……Los Angeles? That’s just a big parking lot where you buy a hamburger for a trip to San Francisco……And the beautiful old houses and the strange light.  We’ve never been in a city with light like this.  We sit in our hotel room for hours, watching the fog come in, the light change.  (John Lennon and Yoko Ono)
42.  San Francisco is a city with the assets of a metropolis without the disadvantages of size and industry.  (Jack Kenny)
43. San Francisco is one of the great cultural plateaus in the world….one of the really urbane communities in the United States…one of the truly cosmopolitan places – and for many, many years, it has always had a warm welcome for human beings from all over the world.  (Duke Ellington)
44. No visit to the United States would be complete without San Francisco – this beautiful city, center of the West, very well known for its beauty and the place where the United Nations was born.  (Queen Sirikit of Thailand)
45. To a traveler paying his first visit, it has the interest of a new planet.  It ignores the meteorological laws which govern the rest of the world.  (Fitz Hugh Ludlow)
46. Cities are like gentlemen, they are born, not made.  You are either a city, or you are not, size has nothing to do with it.  I bet San Francisco was a city from the very first time it had a dozen settlers.  New York is “Yokel”, but San Francisco is “City at Heart”.  (Will Rogers)
47. This is the first place in the United States where I sang, and I like San Francisco better than any other city in the world.  I love no city more than this one.  Where else could I sing outdoors on Christmas Eve?  (Luisa Tetrazzini)
48. San Francisco is  a city where people are never more abroad than when they are at home.  (Benjamin F. Taylor)
49. It’s the grandest city I saw in America.  If everyone acted as the San Franciscans did, there would be hope for settlement of the world’s difficulties.  (Frol Zozlov)
50. To this day the city of San Francisco remains to the Chinese the Great City of the Golden Mountains.  (Kai Fu Shah)

I LOVE SAN FRANCISCO

I can't say it enough: I love San Francisco.  Moving here was one of the best decisions I've made in life thus far, and when looking back, years from now, I know I'll say the same thing.


The problem with this city is that I love it too much.  The attachment I feel toward this city is stronger than any romantic feeling I've had toward a person - and that is the honest truth.  I love to travel and I want to see and experience so many wonderful things this world has to offer, but I almost feel like I found SF too soon.  I almost wish I had moved somewhere else before finding this gem.  I'm scared of how much I love it.  I'm scared I'll never want to leave it.  I feel like I'm ready to commit but am scared of saying the three words for fear of falling too hard.

Here, I've blossomed into my own.  I'm doing the things I love -- more importantly, with people I love.  New friends have found their way into my life, and for them I am grateful.  I am grateful for D, my rocking roommate, who is the most positive & generous person I've ever met.  The sunshine she brings to my life trumps the SF fog.  I'm grateful for MA, who is a soul sister; one who will go Bachata dancing with me (newfound passion), attend travel meetups with me (there are loads here), and who shares the same love for this quirky and awesome city as I do.  To L, my home base, whom I admire.  Being away from home together has brought us so much closer.  To W, who is kind.  And wonderful.  And so inclusive.  The list goes on.

What I am noticing is that SF has made me a much more appreciative, gracious, fun-loving person; it has taken me back to a place of happiness that I haven't felt since college, really.  I almost feel guilty at how much fun I'm having. 

But that's SF.  It is a city that has something for everyone; a city that unifies all the individuals who are celebrated for their uniqueness.  Every night I am grateful for San Francisco.  I want to squeeze every ounce of every second of every weekend.  Living here has helped me to live in the present and to enjoy - truly enjoy. 

 Fleet Week - one of the most incredible experiences I've ever had!

 Giants won the WORLD SERIES!  And I got to watch from Civic Center!

 Sharing my birthday with new friends and plenty of old on Polk Street.  I love birthdays because they bring everyone together.

One of my most favorite things to do: hang out at home in the sun, listen to Motown, and shoot the breeze with my D.

Soul Sisters

The cosmic force of the universe has continued to bring the most brilliant, kind, compassionate, and passionate women into my life.  I'm realizing that some of my closest girl-friends now are those who have entered my life at different stages, but upon meeting them, we both knew within moments that we'd be friends for life.  Some are 10 years older than I am.  Maybe almost 20.  Some, my age - but light years ahead.


These women, these "soul sisters", all have their own personalities, but share these common traits: they're typically strong, independent, worldly, spiritual, reflective, lovely, introspective, mature-beyond-their-years.  They are active, adventurous, and aren't the couch potato types.  They do things themselves.  They're not afraid to be by themselves.  They're also in tune with others, and value the positive relationships in their lives.  They don't care about what others think about them, but they care about others.

//

What comes to mind as I reflect on the positivity that these women bring to my life (and how positively blessed I am to have them!), is a recent UCLA (boo) study on the importance of female friendships; how literally, positive friendships and interactions with fellow females release oxytocin in our brains.

Soul sisters: a proven reason why female friendships are cheaper than therapy.  ;) 
http://www.voxxi.com/female-friendship-is-cheaper-than-therapy-mujer-voxpopuli/

Risk Management

I'm finally reading "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" by Robert Kiyosaki.  My own Dad has been telling me to read it for years.  And...despite the fact that one minute ago, a Google search informed me that Kiyosaki has filed for bankruptcy for this very company he's built for himself (scoff), it has helped me re-think finance and my own goals.

I'm a creative, expressive, communicative person: the exact person Kiyosaki says needs to boost his/her financial intelligence; the exact person who runs away from numbers.  That's me.  (Meet my Dad, and he'll eventually tell the story of how, when I was in 5th grade, I wrote in a journal, "2 + 2 = WHO CARES?!"  Hence, Communication was the right major for me.)

But -- money is important.  Money makes the world go round.  Money helps the wanderers/idealists like me, contribute more to society, and travel to see other societies.  Financial freedom leads to empowerment.

We - the right-brained - must learn how the left-brain works and combine forces, to be successful.  It's how the world works.

Digging further, it led me think about risk management.  Where does risk management lie in our lives?  I'd say it's in three sectors:

1. Money
2. Relationships
3.  Career

What's worth doing is looking at how well we manage or approach risk in each of these pillars of our lives.  They all intersect, and I should think that how we manage each will translate to how we manage life.

After all, I just read a quote that really stuck with me: "How we do anything, is how we do everything."

Do we invest our money, albeit "peanuts" for some at my age, in a safe manner?  Do we invest at all?

In terms of relationships, I've learned that there is a direct parallel between lessons learned from love and life.  Great risks can lead to great rewards.  We must take blind leaps of faith.  To fall in love is the biggest risk worth taking.  Reflect on your own life - how risky have you been in love?  It may correlate.

Career.  With time, I've learned that time itself is needed, at least for me, to make decisions I feel 10000% secure with.  I've made irrational decisions before that were emotion-based, but of course learned from them, suffered at times, but always grew.  That's my biggest lesson now: think about your decisions, and when you make them, stick to them.  Stick to them with all your might.  And always, always try to find the positive in them - because there is.  There's always lesson in everything, and if you don't think there is, there is.  There is a purpose.

/////

I've learned that I must manage my risk equally on all parts of the spectrum to get all wheels of my life turning.

CHOOSE FORWARD MOTION

The difference between what you want, and what you have, is what you do. The bridge that spans from desire to fulfillment is action.

Every moment is an opportunity to act. The more of those momentary opportunities you make use of, the more quickly and richly your dreams will become real.

It doesn’t really matter what you say you want or what you wish for. What matters is what you choose to work for.

What matters is what you use your precious and irreplaceable time to accomplish. This day is filled with valuable time, so make purposeful use of it as it comes.

To have an exceptional, fulfilled life, work for it. Work for it now, today, from where you are, with what you have.

-" "

Aleph

I'm reading a book by my favorite author, Paulo Coelho, called "Aleph".  In short, it's a spiritual book about a writer's journey across the Trans-Siberian railroad and his relationship with a seemingly odd woman, who actually is someone he has met 500 years before, and with whom he tries to rectify his past.

Aleph is not only the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet; it also means "the number that contains all numbers".  However, in this story, Aleph represents a voyage where two people experience a spiritual unleashing that has a profound impact on their present lives.

I love Coelho's writing because it is raw.  His words touch all of his readers in the depths of their souls, forcing them to look deep into what they want in life; to forgive and move forward from their pasts; to keep striving for their dreams in this life that is a journey.  Just read "Like the Flowing River", and you'll know what I'm talking about.

Because I am a quote fanatic, here are some from the book that have resonated with me:

• "As always happens when we know what we want, things begin to slot perfectly into place." 
• "A life without cause is a life without effect." 
• "None of us is in a hurry; as we travel on, we are constantly destroying and rebuildilng ourselves and who we are."

And while we're feeling inspired, let's take a look at this week's Brain Pickings post on Neil Gaiman:

• “Perfection is like chasing the horizon. Keep moving.”
• "The main rule of writing is that if you do it with enough assurance and confidence, you’re allowed to do whatever you like. (That may be a rule for life as well as for writing. But it’s definitely true for writing.) So write your story as it needs to be written. Write it ­honestly, and tell it as best you can. I’m not sure that there are any other rules. Not ones that matter."

 /////////

In the short few months I've lived here, this magical city has given me freedom - of thought, of expression, of action.  And, in the few months I've lived here, I've listened to the musings of people like Coelho, Gaiman, and finally, of my inner voice. 

Though people have always thought I was older and wiser than my age, I finally feel wise.  Because my heart and mind are congruent.  And because I know what I need to do, how to get there, and most importantly, that I believe in myself 100000%.

I know - mushy gushy, but oh-so-good.

The Day I Fell In Love.

Folks, it has happened.  I have officially fallen in love. 

With San Francisco.

For the few months following my move up here at the end of May this past year, I enjoyed the city as if I were in Orientation Week of college -- of course I loved it.  The public transportation was so convenient!  The people so friendly - new friends, old friends, all the time!  The fun in abundance!  Marina, Polk Street, the Mission!  The food!  The views!  The culture, the smells, the everything!

And then the honeymoon phase ended.

Public transportation took too long and I couldn't figure out logistics of, say, how to pick up and deliver a bed without a car.  I couldn't wear heels because the hills are too steep.  The incessant smells on the streets started to make my head swirl.  My wallet was suffering from all the 'fun in abundance' I was having.  The views compared nothing to my beautiful SoCal beaches.  I missed my family.  I missed my friends.  I missed the sun & fresh air.

And of course, the FOG.  Don't get me started on the fog. 

But in this past week, I could feel the gears slowly turning, turning turning, and today, it clicked: this city ROCKS.

This morning, D & I woke up and contemplated all our weekend plans: should she go to the football game, or to Oktoberfest?  Meanwhile, should I go hiking in the Redwood Forest, or should I go to yoga in the park/Farmer's Market/California Academy of Science?  And then we'd meet up for a movie in the park?  Really, the options were just too much to handle.

After taking a step back from our "first world problems" (but seriously), I stepped back and grinned.  This is a common theme on the weekends here: not being able to decide what to do in the city, because there's so much TO do! 

Though I love, love, love LA, never was there a day there when I could do as much as I did today, all via public transport, all alone - because there is no taboo here - and with an option to ditch out at any time for another activity.  There is always something for someone in this city. 

In that respect, SF reminds me of Las Vegas -- at the end of the day, you will always come back, no matter where you go or what you decide to do - with a story.

For example, today:

• I made friends with a random man on the bus, who didn't know where he was going, but he wanted brunch.
• A few minutes later, I went to the Farmer's Market in the Ferry Bldg, where I purchased my favorite (but oh-so-expensive) Warren Pears and Plums.  They are to die for.
• After strolling around a bit, I then witnessed a man punch a girl who stole a necklace from his girlfriend.  Police, chaos, etc., ensued.  Huh.
• Then, I went to the Cal Academy of Sciences to meet up with some friends from LA.  Admission was free for Cole Valley Residents today, so I got to see baby ostriches, a killer aquarium, and (almost hold) butterflies today.  I am telling you, this place rocks.
• "Midnight in Paris" was showing in Washington Square Park this evening, so D and I packed up our blankies, a bottle of vino, and some snacks to join hundreds of other Friscans under the starry sky.  The best part of watching this movie were all the other elements going on: I could see the movie, hear sirens from SFPD (mixed with the lovely Parisian soundtrack), smell weed (always), and almost taste the pizza from Tony's, my favorite pizza place in all of SF, right across the street.  
• The night didn't end.  We went to D's friends' place nearby, and finished off the night with great new friends, conversation, and laughs.
• To top it off, on our walk home, Dena and I saw a car pull over to the side of the road, where a girlfriend started beating up her boyfriend.  This city is WILD.
• Did I mention that on Thursday, I went to the Mission with some new friends and went dancing at a North African reggae club?  Too cool.

On that Thursday night, I met Chloe, who I can sense is definitely a "soul sister" and is just a totally cool chick from France.  She has traveled the world, and told me that once she got to San Francisco, her need to travel subsided. 

SF has it all.  And I am SO glad I'm here.

(But I still don't like the fog!)

Houston, TX: Taxi Traveling

I write from a plush bed at the Hilton Americas in Houston, TX. I haven't really stepped outside the hotel much these past few days because I am here on a work trip, not to mention the weather here confuses me (how is it 80 degrees with a chance of showers?!) but I still have experienced a good amount of culture.

And it ain't Texan culture.

The few experiences I've had with people outside the hotel -- that is, outside my coworkers and the hundreds of chipper young girls and full-grown-women-with-pigtails who are here for the National Girl Scout Convention (I can count so many green Girl Scout skirts, but zero Thin Mints in sight. There is something wrong with this picture.) -- have been with taxi drivers. Since my arrival, I've been driven by two men from Ethiopia and one from Nigeria, the two African countries from which a majority of people have emmigrated to Houston.

My drivers have all been exceedingly friendly and affable; quite talkative; and very open about their cultures. They are also into their families. I've learned the following:

- It's very common for men in Ethiopia to have multiple wives as a form of status. My first taxi driver said his brother at home has four wives and spends a week per month with each wife -- and a handful of his 28 children. 28. children.

- Ethiopia is very green. My first driver went as far to say that "There is no difference between Houston and Ethiopia...they are ze same! Ethiopia...just greener!" However, I think I'll need to head over to Ethiopia to validify that claim. ;)

- Somalia is one of the most dangerous African countries, according to one of my drivers. Nigeria is, too, for tourists who don't know their way around (but isn't that true with any and all countries?).

- Music is a huge part of their culture and history. My driver tonight fully blasted Nigerian music all the way back to the Hilton and explained that Nigerian music has good messages. Wholesome messages. Like "be proud of your children" and "be good to your wife" (hm, wives?).

It's incredible how one can travel the world through conversation and interaction. Taxi traveling, as I've dubbed it. Through Houston, I've somewhat traveled Africa.

It's all about cultural diplomacy: people are incredible tools for action, understanding, and change, if we all took the time to listen and engage with each other.

Celebrating Hapa Kids

Zara just released their October Lookbook for kids, and I immediately fell in love with this little boy.

My roommate and I decided he must have a cool, location-based name. Like London or Brooklyn. Because he probably travels around the world with his well-to-do parents. And he probably plays with toy airplanes -- never Nintendo DS. And he grew up speaking three languages, one of them being an Asian language, because he's hapa -- and ADORABLE.


There is no other reason for this this post other than to point out how handsome this little man is, and to celebrate interracial marriages! I come from a family that contains a lot of mixed marriages; it's really beautiful to be able to blend cultures, genetics, accents and languages -- and to be able call everyone 'family'.

Cheers to open mindedness and cute hapa kids!

PURA VIDA. COSTA RICA.

At the end of September 2011,  I spent 8 days in Costa Rica with one of my best friends from undergrad, Kristine.

Since the beginning of the year, K & I had been wanting to go to Latin America and, after stumbling upon their website, decided to go with Toronto-based G Adventures.

For a variety of reasons, it was one of the most life-changing trips for both of us.

The adventures while traveling were, of course, memorable, as they always are...

Like when we went rappelling down 220 ft waterfalls; cannon-balled our way into the tiniest of water holes - a mandatory to get down the mountain; and stopped the torrential down-flow of mountain water as human shields...

Or when we went on the most treacherous hike of my life, only to be given the opportunity to jump off mile-high rocks into a pool that led into another waterfall...

 

Or when we went Class IV white water rafting, my most favorite hobby in the whole world, and laughed, laughed, laughed as we were smacked by Costa Rican trees, swallowed and spit out by its murky, foaming waters, and gleefully encouraged by our mustached, Costa Rican, guide of a guide, Luis...

 Or when we danced on the ferry ride home: cumbia, salsa, merengue, atop the boat, with the locals - as if it were as normal as buying a hot dog at a baseball game (because it IS normal there!)...

 But of course, the best times were spent with friends.  All the new friends we made on our trip, with whom we bonded as we swung for hours on hammocks in the night, usually humid sky; or when we built bonfires together and swapped stories -- and how to best make s'mores...

PEOPLE are what always make the trip.  Always, hands-down.  I will venture to say that Costa Rica was not unlike any adventure I had while living in Thailand or even Australia; the beaches are surely not as impressive as Thailand, the food not as spicy or obscure; the culture not as wild different as I'd expected.

But on our trip, K and I both met people who will forever be in our lives.  Specifically, two other people who live in different countries, but share the same zest for travel, for doing better in the world, for LIVING.  Our lives are definitely better because of those 8 days and the people we met on that trip.

And we have Cacique to thank.  Just kidding!

PURA VIDA!

She's Back.

I'm back. I neglected my blog for a YEAR - a whole, bloody year, because well, I got a job. And it's kept me sort of busy. Also, the stalkers on my formerly named blog started creeping me out, but I'm over it now.

But more on all that later.

I've missed writing so very much and have a ton of insight and great news to share from this past year's hiatus. Never mind that I probably have zero followers at the moment, but hey, it just feels GOOD releasing my thoughts to the universe. Ah, free therapy.

So I shall blog again. And it will be increíble.

(Note the Spanish: I'm going to Costa Rica for vacation this Saturday -- so stay tuned!)

Connecting the Dots

Do you ever feel like there's a "theme" to your week? A message/adage that follows you around, seeps through your mind and influences your actions?

Well, this past week, my theme was "connecting the dots." It all started when one of my friends told me to watch Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford Commencement speech. I ignored it -- too long. But then another friend from a very different group of mine told me to watch it a few days later, and I thought, "Ok, two people in one week is a pretty big coincidence." It's not like his speech is a new YouTube hit -- I mean, 2005? I was still in high school.

Suffice it to say that the speech did, as most inspirational speeches tend to do, "change my life," as my latter friend promised it would (at least, I still feel the residual inspirational effects of it!). You'll have to watch it yourself, but the main point that stuck with me was that only will we be able to connect the dots of our lives when we look back on it. Basically, hindsight is 20/20. Such a great message and reminder, especially to a 21 year-old like me, who continually struggles with the purpose behind my actions, and where my future will end up.

After feeling inspired by Jobs (such an incredible man), I retired that night and decided to pick up my current literary fling, "Marco Polo Didn't Go There" by travel writer, Rolf Potts. It's a collection of witty and post-modern written travel stories by Potts. Because I haven't gotten sun in a few days thanks to my desk job (wah), I decided to read a story based on the Mediterranean area.

"Turkish Knockout" was my story of choice, which told of Potts' experience as a victim of a date-rape drug. After regaining consciousness after the ordeal, he masochistically relives the events of the day and expresses how the each little encounter he had had with various "strangers" ultimately led to his demise (there are obviously more details to the story, but that's why you should just go pick up the book and read it yourself, duhhh!).

Sure, the end of Potts' story was not successful, as Jobs' was, but Potts did emote the same message:

"A certain 101-level existentialist (Kierkegaard, I think) once suggested that life is lived forwards, but understood backwards."

Ding, ding!

So there we have it, ladies and gents. The message of my week, indirectly told to me via two different friends and a book: connecting the dots, and having faith that our actions are all part of a master plan that will all make sense one day.

It's Not Neglect!

This post will be a short one, as I've taken to the "real world" by working the daily grind at a sort've fabulous marketing agency in West Hollywood (!!), thus leaving me with minimal time to devote to my beloved blog, aka my outlet of expression. Oh, blog, don't hate me so...

In the weeks since my last post, my home town, Los Angeles, has seen some great things. Por ejemplo, the Lakers put on another Lake Show and secured the 'ship. (For all of you who never saw "Hardball", that's the CHAMPionship.) My Lakers, my town! We won! I went positively ape. The irony was that though I'd religiously watched almost every game leading up to the nail-biter of Game 7, during Game 7 itself, I was actually in a car, driving through the mountains, en route to Vegas Wegas, hearing the play-by-play from none other than my dear mother, who, I'm sorry to report, is surely not as awesome an announcer as those on AM 710 (also known as "the radio station that loses service en route to Vegas." Hmph!).

Regardless, Mom's descriptions of the plays CRACKED me up:
"Lasol...has the ball....it's...it's...OH! WE SCORED! A basket! Go, Lasol!"

(Mom, bless your heart, but for the record, it's Gasol. Pau Gasol. GGGGGG.)

What else? Oh, our city was aflame with World Cup Fever. Viva! Viva! The beauty of living in LA is its diversity, so when worldwide events like the Cup occur, our eclectic, beautiful, colorful, mish-mash of people come out and show their pride. While driving to the mall when Mexico lost to Argentina (womp), I was so pleased to see Mexican flags billowing atop many a Ford Explorer. All of this, of course, was the day after USA lost to Ghana (blast!), whence I saw die-hard Americans with their faces painted, robed entirely, and solely, in our flag (LOL, could that be considered defamation? I mean, it's a case-by-case basis, but still...)

I had a fun time in the Third Street Promenade pub cheering our team on to...defeat...in a fraternity-like setting (because who DOESN'T enjoy getting beer sloshed all over her while getting rubbed up on by large men?!), but I couldn't help but think about all the other countries in the world who would be mourning/cutting themselves if their country had lost. My fellow frat frat brothers and I all moped about after the game, but honestly, I was happy snappy a few hours later. Thus, I must declare that should America have won the World Cup (definitely not talented enough yet for that, but dream with me), I actually would've been pretty pissed.

Porqua, you ask? Because! America is good at freaking everything, except soccer. The WORLD has soccer on US. For us to take that away - take that one sport, that one (of few?) unifying symbol of nationalistic pride and culture - for our country's glory, would be so terribly unfair. Americans do not love soccer as much as the world does. We have a long way to go from our AYSO, soccer-mom view on the sport. Trust, we have talent, but we're simply not there yet...

So, ICH LIEBE DEUTCHLAND! I hang your colors proud in my car, Germany, and I thank my 2006 experience in Europe during World Cup for that.

That's all for now, folks! And by folks, I mean all the Chinese people who are posting comments on my blog in Chinese. Who ARE you? Do I know you? And I can't read Chinese! Oy, vey!

Today's Brilliance

I subscribe to a site called "Inspire Me Today". The emails I get often help me start my day with a sense of tranquility, grounding, confidence, and inspiration. Today's was particularly nice.

Of all the things you can make in life, remember you make a difference. ~ Noah benShea

If today were my last day on Earth and I could share 500 words of brilliance with the world, here are the important things I'd want to pass along to others...

Noah benShea's Ten Tips for Tough Times

1. Being broke is not the same as being broken,
losing money is not the same as being lost,
and finding your balance is not something you can do on a balance sheet.

2. Don't confuse having less with being less,
having more with being more,
or what you have with who you are.

3. Slow down.
What you're chasing may be trying to catch you.

4. Prayer is a path where there is none.

5. Put your faith and not your fears in charge.

6. God only gave you two arms.
If you're busy hugging the past you can't embrace the future.
Don't let the past kidnap your future.

7. This too shall pass.
Change is the only constant.
In order to take a breath you must release your breath.

8. Do what you can,
but never forget that letting go is very different from giving up.

9. Break the rules that are breaking you.
Tough times don't require you to be tough on yourself.
Find the courage to suffer happiness.

10. Remember, remember, remember...
Things don't have to be good for you to be great.