Forgotten Reports

Dinner on the Chao Praya with Linnea this evening was less-than-charming. The setting of these river-eateries seems romantic, as its diners sit cross-legged on the floor and eat off knee-high tables, heartily laughing as the outdoor kitchen staff produces wafts of freshly grilled seafood that stop passerby in their tracks. Their faces are aglow from the candlelight and the majestic bridge in the background, which changes colors every 30 seconds or so...kind of like a Disney Electric Parade (oh, how I miss Disneyland right now)! Moving on.

I've wanted to try one of these nearby diners ever since I moved to Phra Pradaeng, and on the first day back to school from our island vacation (which I'll write about later), this seemed like a perfect idea.

Except my legs fell asleep sitting cross-legged. And mosquitoes (the ones I'm afraid I'm severely allergic to) swarmed around me – so much so that I used L's large map of the USA, which she had used in a tutoring session earlier – as a blanket to shield my legs from the bloodsuckers. And “homeless children” came up to us in groups to beg for money. And a desperate vendor selling nuts wouldn't stop pestering us to buy something from him because his profits were down (we held our ground).

Dude, all I wanted was to eat my Tom Yum Goon in peace (oh that, by the way, was NOT mai phet (not spicy), as we had requested. So in addition to the aforementioned, our mouths were on fire).

However, despite the minor disturbances, Linnea and I had some good conversation regarding every day life here that has become so normal that I've forgotten to even report about it. So here goes an abridged version of our ramblings from the night:

1. The cockfight. In Kanchanaburi, Linnea and I were bike riding and passed by a shady-looking-house with a bloody, white sheet draped across the entrance to its backyard. In front of the sheet were about 30 motorbikes, and as it occurred to us that the scene was, indeed, quite shady, we heard masculine cheers and jeers – along with the squawks of chickens in the background. We kept riding on. Cockfight for sure.

2. Thais are obsessed with people, and in turn, lack a lot of the social etiquette that's valued in Western countries:

   1. For example, the lunch lady, Pi Aoy, who is very fond of Linnea and me, called Linnea a good eight times while we were on vacation. Eight times. In consecutive days. We can't even understand what she's saying when we talk in person, and we don't know why she'd call when she knew we were on vacation. Today at school, she said she called to see if we “ENJOY!” Pi Pi. Yes, Pi Aoy, we enjoyed it.

   2. Linnea made a friend on the plane over to Thailand who has leaned on L for English support and friendship. She called L the other day to ask her if she'd like to go down to Phuket with her the day following to help her with a job interview. When L said no (Ummm, it's called work!), the girl called her again twice the day of to see if she'd still like to go (No!).

3. Soap is nonexistent. Schools and public restrooms are arguably the most important places to preach and practice cleanliness to snotty children and dirty strangers. But our school doesn't provide soap in the kids' restrooms, and I haven't seen soap in public restrooms, either. Nor have I seen toilet paper. Isn't that great? People drip-and-dry and then fail to properly wash their hands. Then they handle our food...

4. Health codes? Nada. Too many stories to tell about vendors preparing food with their grimy hands and oily utensils (as L and I watch in horror), but this one sticks out the most: Tash, one of our CIEE teacher-friends from New York, was at her birthday celebration eating Pad Thai. Luckily she looked down before she gobbled up none other than a SCREW. So she called over the waitress who looked at it, nervously chuckled, and PLUCKED the screw out Tash's dish with her bare hands. And then Tash watched as the waitress went to the kitchen and the staff went looking for the machinery that the screw had fallen off of. This type of story would make headlines in The States.

5. Kids here are not critical thinkers. I had been told that during training, but I see how true it is as I teach them. Kids in America are encouraged to use their imagination and creativity, which I believe has led many of our children, and thus, society, to become independent, free-thinkers, who are not afraid to speak out and rebel (given the fact that our democracy allows such actions). In Thailand, however, kids learn by memorization. Facts are drilled into their heads and they repeat what's taught to them. In the morning they all chant the same Buddhist prayer. All of Thailand honors the King at 8am and 6pm, promptly and respectively. When I give students an assignment to draw something, I've seen girls whip our their book of templates, find the picture of, oh, Santa Clause, let's say, and copy it exactly as is. This type of learning is a problem when trying to learn languages, I feel, because though my students may know how to respond to basic conversational questions, like “How are you?” (which is always “Aaaahmm fine, thank youuu, and you?”), or “How old are you?” or “What is your name?”, they have grave difficulty answering other, more specific types of questions. Like “what is your favorite fruit?” will yield “what is your favorite fruit.” (It's very frustrating when this parrot-like-response occurs) They all know what the word “fruit” is but they don't understand sentence structure or composition.

6. The values are skewed. Female teachers are scorned if we wear too-short skirts, or if our sleeves reveal too much bare shoulder (the thought!). But our school is practicing for its Sport Day (two days during which there are no classes but only sports and team spirit, rah rah), and let me tell you, the way these 2^nd and 3^rd grade girls dance would make American parents' jaws drop! Some would probably try to sue the school! As the girls dance to the beat of the drum and the rest of the school sits in an assembly hall, I stare in the corner at their provocative shoulder and booty shakes, hip dips, and freaky-dance-moves that I couldn't even dream of doing. Other teachers and I have discussed this and we're all equally puzzled by the fact that these uber-conservative Thai admins and teachers smile, clap along with, and conduct these choreographed dances, during which some kids at my friend Nate's school, perform sensual acts, like dancing on top of chairs (think strippers)! It'll be interesting to see how Sport Day actually turns out...

7. Faces and appearance. Thais are impeccable about their appearance, and this means not only in the fashion-sense, but also in the business sense. Our school prides itself on its English program, and so they've so far used Linnea in multiple brochure pictures that are sent out to parents to prove that their money is truly going toward a greater English-speaking future for their wild children. Funny enough, the pictures were all staged, where L is pretending to teach children as Thai teachers were really the ones making the kids laugh as the picture was snapped (genuine happiness, isn't it great?). There was one picture where apparently they kids were posed to lean their heads on L's shoulder! Anyway, she's not the only teacher to have experienced this kind of bizarre, newfound fame. Other teachers – white, blonde-haired teachers, that is – have had to undergo similar photoshoots (or should I say, exploitation?)

All for now. Today was kind of tough getting back into the swing of things, but I must keep in mind that I only have eight weeks of teaching left. Time has really flown. HAPPY NEW YEAR!