Uncomfortable is Good: Rehearsing for Life's Improvisation

It's hard for me to put into words the #1 reason why I love traveling other than its most obvious gifts of cultural, historical, artistic, linguistic, and relational expansion: it's a personal journey.

I'm at a vital time in life. I'm young, and the decisions I make now, for the most part, determine how my future will turn out. I've learned from my older relatives and friends, as well as reflections read in blogs and books, that the life worth living is one without regret. Which is why I have adopted a mentality to dream what I want to dream; go where I want to go; be what I want to be; because I only have one life to live, and one chance to do all the things I want to do. Have no regrets, believe that I can do anything, and don't let anyone hold me down. My dad calls me idealistic, and that is probably true, but I'd rather be a happy and hopeful idealist than force myself to be something otherwise because I'm too scared to be who I really am. I also recognize that I'm very fortunate to have the opportunity for such freedom.

Anyway, I'm going to Thailand in October for five months. I'm going through a teaching agency/program called CIEE but for the most part, I consider myself to be alone in this journey. I know of no one on the program and will be placed in a small town south of Bangkok where there are few Westerners or tourists. A lot of people, when they hear what I'm doing, ask me if I'm scared or proclaim that they'd never be able to do what I'm doing. But, I don't know, I'm stoked to be going by myself and to meet all these new people; I can't wait to immerse myself in the unknown languages and the cultures, and really allow time for self-reflection without external voices interrupting my internal thoughts. I embrace the challenge of never having taught before, or traveled alone.

I'm reading a book by Po Bronson called What Should I Do With My Life? The True Story of People Who Answered the Ultimate Question. It's not a self-help book. It's a compilation of stories from people who were forced to answer "The Question" and the outcomes from their decisions. Some stories are great, others dull, but overall a pretty enriching book.

Po has a chapter called "Uncomfortable is Good: Rehearsing For Life's Improvisations" that spoke directly to and for me, and completely reiterated my thoughts on travel to Thailand, as well as my growing philosophy on life. It's a long entry but I'm going to return the book to the library soon (lol), so I wanted to write it for my own remembrance but also to share with you. The second-to-last paragraph is my favorite.

"I corresponded with numerous people who were traveling in different parts of the world, hoping that while away they might figure out what to do with their life. Some returned with a new courage, and an insight into themselves that guided their decision. Many didn't, though. They had a good time, saw the world, and often wished they could keep traveling for the rest of their years. But insight into what they would do with themselves if they had to stand still? They weren't able to milk that rock.

So when it helped, how did it? What was the causal link?

I'll start with the subtlest effects, and in the following chapters describe a few more substantive ones.

For those who simply feel trapped under their responsibilities and can't summon the initiative to quit, exposing yourself to how other people live loosens the mind. "Look at how happy they are with so little money!" for instance. You comprehend how many ways there are to get by. Choosing a new way seems possible.

At home, at work, at school, there are always a ton of external inputs coaxing you in the direction you're already going. Deadlines, parents chirping in your ear, friends wanting you to go out. Your life has a momentum. Traveling can take you away from all those influences, quiet their din, and allow you a kind of silence to consider who you are as an independent entity. It can be uncomfortable if you're not used to it. You might come face to face with the fact that there's not much brainwave activity upstairs without all those influences to react to. "And when you start to think you haven't been the pilot of your life for a long, long time, you have no other choice but to hear what your soul is saying," wrote one young man who found the courage to quit business school while traveling across Asia. "Am I the person I am if nobody is there to tell me who I am?"

Being uncomfortable is good. If you remain comfortable, you remain more or less yourself. The quickest way to make yourself uncomfortable is to travel alone. I found a high correlation between traveling alone and milking the rock. It takes courage to change your life. Sometimes, doing so, you feel all alone in the world. You can get used to this scary feeling by traveling alone, being by yourself for long periods of time, having to talk to strangers, having to get yourself from one city to another. You become accustomed to it. The fear of being alone will no longer stop you.

It also helped to travel without a plan. This was particularly true for young people who've segued from high school to college to a prize job they were recruited for without ever taking any great leaps of faith. They've never been off a path. With each step, they've known where is was likely to lead, even as they pretended they might opt out. They're uncomfortable with the prospect of not being associated with a respected school or company, since they've always had that. Traveling without a plan is a way to rehearse the improvisational approach, and opens your mind to the sense of adventure. You learn to trust the laws of chance. Perhaps, when you get home, you'll be willing to do the same.

When you subdue these fears, they no longer guard the gates, and you invite the truth into your life."

My thoughts exactly, Po.