I sort of have an obsession with empowering quotes. Here is the latest one I'm infatuated with:
"If you're going to be passionate about something, be passionate about learning. If you're going to fight something, fight for those in need. If you're going to question something, question authority. If you're going to lose something, lose your inhibitions. If you're going to gain something, gain respect and confidence. And if you're going to hate something, hate the false idea that you are not capable of your dreams."
-Daniel Golston
* * *
Sometimes I struggle with the fact that I like quotes. The mere act of repeating another's brilliance or eloquence in words makes me feel, at times, fraudulent and unoriginal, like I'm putting on a front to seem more intellectual than what I really am -- or that I'm just trying to live vicariously through these strangers.
So I finally attempted to cure this dissonance the other day and came to the conclusion that I gravitate toward the quotes that most reinforce my biggest dreams and most real outlook on life. These empowering, risk-taking, big-talkin' reflections of self may scare the people whose opinions I value. Because of this idea that the people I am surrounded by may not always support or understand my outlook on life, it's natural that I have looked to people who do.
Though I may not know the sources of these quotes, their muttered words have become a powerful, invisible force that fuels my thoughts & actions and supports me in ways I may not receive from my inner-circles of loved ones (Disclaimer: I really do have an amazingly supportive network, though). Whenever I doubt myself, I flip through my mental file of quotes to assure and encourage myself, as well as give myself a person or idea to aspire towards. They're my invisible army that battles to protect and feed my soul.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Crossroads
"He dreaded having to make a decision, but at the same time he liked being a this crossroads. He enjoyed the sense of infinite potential. He had a rare chance to reinvent himself into whoever he wanted to be."
-Po Bronson
How beautiful is that? The choice to choose is one that we, who are fortunate enough to possess options, take for granted.
-Po Bronson
How beautiful is that? The choice to choose is one that we, who are fortunate enough to possess options, take for granted.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Uncomfortable is Good: Rehearsing for Life's Improvisation
It's hard for me to put into words the #1 reason why I love traveling other than its most obvious gifts of cultural, historical, artistic, linguistic, and relational expansion: it's a personal journey.
I'm at a vital time in life. I'm young, and the decisions I make now, for the most part, determine how my future will turn out. I've learned from my older relatives and friends, as well as reflections read in blogs and books, that the life worth living is one without regret. Which is why I have adopted a mentality to dream what I want to dream; go where I want to go; be what I want to be; because I only have one life to live, and one chance to do all the things I want to do. Have no regrets, believe that I can do anything, and don't let anyone hold me down. My dad calls me idealistic, and that is probably true, but I'd rather be a happy and hopeful idealist than force myself to be something otherwise because I'm too scared to be who I really am. I also recognize that I'm very fortunate to have the opportunity for such freedom.
Anyway, I'm going to Thailand in October for five months. I'm going through a teaching agency/program called CIEE but for the most part, I consider myself to be alone in this journey. I know of no one on the program and will be placed in a small town south of Bangkok where there are few Westerners or tourists. A lot of people, when they hear what I'm doing, ask me if I'm scared or proclaim that they'd never be able to do what I'm doing. But, I don't know, I'm stoked to be going by myself and to meet all these new people; I can't wait to immerse myself in the unknown languages and the cultures, and really allow time for self-reflection without external voices interrupting my internal thoughts. I embrace the challenge of never having taught before, or traveled alone.
I'm reading a book by Po Bronson called What Should I Do With My Life? The True Story of People Who Answered the Ultimate Question. It's not a self-help book. It's a compilation of stories from people who were forced to answer "The Question" and the outcomes from their decisions. Some stories are great, others dull, but overall a pretty enriching book.
Po has a chapter called "Uncomfortable is Good: Rehearsing For Life's Improvisations" that spoke directly to and for me, and completely reiterated my thoughts on travel to Thailand, as well as my growing philosophy on life. It's a long entry but I'm going to return the book to the library soon (lol), so I wanted to write it for my own remembrance but also to share with you. The second-to-last paragraph is my favorite.
"I corresponded with numerous people who were traveling in different parts of the world, hoping that while away they might figure out what to do with their life. Some returned with a new courage, and an insight into themselves that guided their decision. Many didn't, though. They had a good time, saw the world, and often wished they could keep traveling for the rest of their years. But insight into what they would do with themselves if they had to stand still? They weren't able to milk that rock.
So when it helped, how did it? What was the causal link?
I'll start with the subtlest effects, and in the following chapters describe a few more substantive ones.
For those who simply feel trapped under their responsibilities and can't summon the initiative to quit, exposing yourself to how other people live loosens the mind. "Look at how happy they are with so little money!" for instance. You comprehend how many ways there are to get by. Choosing a new way seems possible.
At home, at work, at school, there are always a ton of external inputs coaxing you in the direction you're already going. Deadlines, parents chirping in your ear, friends wanting you to go out. Your life has a momentum. Traveling can take you away from all those influences, quiet their din, and allow you a kind of silence to consider who you are as an independent entity. It can be uncomfortable if you're not used to it. You might come face to face with the fact that there's not much brainwave activity upstairs without all those influences to react to. "And when you start to think you haven't been the pilot of your life for a long, long time, you have no other choice but to hear what your soul is saying," wrote one young man who found the courage to quit business school while traveling across Asia. "Am I the person I am if nobody is there to tell me who I am?"
Being uncomfortable is good. If you remain comfortable, you remain more or less yourself. The quickest way to make yourself uncomfortable is to travel alone. I found a high correlation between traveling alone and milking the rock. It takes courage to change your life. Sometimes, doing so, you feel all alone in the world. You can get used to this scary feeling by traveling alone, being by yourself for long periods of time, having to talk to strangers, having to get yourself from one city to another. You become accustomed to it. The fear of being alone will no longer stop you.
It also helped to travel without a plan. This was particularly true for young people who've segued from high school to college to a prize job they were recruited for without ever taking any great leaps of faith. They've never been off a path. With each step, they've known where is was likely to lead, even as they pretended they might opt out. They're uncomfortable with the prospect of not being associated with a respected school or company, since they've always had that. Traveling without a plan is a way to rehearse the improvisational approach, and opens your mind to the sense of adventure. You learn to trust the laws of chance. Perhaps, when you get home, you'll be willing to do the same.
When you subdue these fears, they no longer guard the gates, and you invite the truth into your life."
My thoughts exactly, Po.
I'm at a vital time in life. I'm young, and the decisions I make now, for the most part, determine how my future will turn out. I've learned from my older relatives and friends, as well as reflections read in blogs and books, that the life worth living is one without regret. Which is why I have adopted a mentality to dream what I want to dream; go where I want to go; be what I want to be; because I only have one life to live, and one chance to do all the things I want to do. Have no regrets, believe that I can do anything, and don't let anyone hold me down. My dad calls me idealistic, and that is probably true, but I'd rather be a happy and hopeful idealist than force myself to be something otherwise because I'm too scared to be who I really am. I also recognize that I'm very fortunate to have the opportunity for such freedom.
Anyway, I'm going to Thailand in October for five months. I'm going through a teaching agency/program called CIEE but for the most part, I consider myself to be alone in this journey. I know of no one on the program and will be placed in a small town south of Bangkok where there are few Westerners or tourists. A lot of people, when they hear what I'm doing, ask me if I'm scared or proclaim that they'd never be able to do what I'm doing. But, I don't know, I'm stoked to be going by myself and to meet all these new people; I can't wait to immerse myself in the unknown languages and the cultures, and really allow time for self-reflection without external voices interrupting my internal thoughts. I embrace the challenge of never having taught before, or traveled alone.
I'm reading a book by Po Bronson called What Should I Do With My Life? The True Story of People Who Answered the Ultimate Question. It's not a self-help book. It's a compilation of stories from people who were forced to answer "The Question" and the outcomes from their decisions. Some stories are great, others dull, but overall a pretty enriching book.
Po has a chapter called "Uncomfortable is Good: Rehearsing For Life's Improvisations" that spoke directly to and for me, and completely reiterated my thoughts on travel to Thailand, as well as my growing philosophy on life. It's a long entry but I'm going to return the book to the library soon (lol), so I wanted to write it for my own remembrance but also to share with you. The second-to-last paragraph is my favorite.
"I corresponded with numerous people who were traveling in different parts of the world, hoping that while away they might figure out what to do with their life. Some returned with a new courage, and an insight into themselves that guided their decision. Many didn't, though. They had a good time, saw the world, and often wished they could keep traveling for the rest of their years. But insight into what they would do with themselves if they had to stand still? They weren't able to milk that rock.
So when it helped, how did it? What was the causal link?
I'll start with the subtlest effects, and in the following chapters describe a few more substantive ones.
For those who simply feel trapped under their responsibilities and can't summon the initiative to quit, exposing yourself to how other people live loosens the mind. "Look at how happy they are with so little money!" for instance. You comprehend how many ways there are to get by. Choosing a new way seems possible.
At home, at work, at school, there are always a ton of external inputs coaxing you in the direction you're already going. Deadlines, parents chirping in your ear, friends wanting you to go out. Your life has a momentum. Traveling can take you away from all those influences, quiet their din, and allow you a kind of silence to consider who you are as an independent entity. It can be uncomfortable if you're not used to it. You might come face to face with the fact that there's not much brainwave activity upstairs without all those influences to react to. "And when you start to think you haven't been the pilot of your life for a long, long time, you have no other choice but to hear what your soul is saying," wrote one young man who found the courage to quit business school while traveling across Asia. "Am I the person I am if nobody is there to tell me who I am?"
Being uncomfortable is good. If you remain comfortable, you remain more or less yourself. The quickest way to make yourself uncomfortable is to travel alone. I found a high correlation between traveling alone and milking the rock. It takes courage to change your life. Sometimes, doing so, you feel all alone in the world. You can get used to this scary feeling by traveling alone, being by yourself for long periods of time, having to talk to strangers, having to get yourself from one city to another. You become accustomed to it. The fear of being alone will no longer stop you.
It also helped to travel without a plan. This was particularly true for young people who've segued from high school to college to a prize job they were recruited for without ever taking any great leaps of faith. They've never been off a path. With each step, they've known where is was likely to lead, even as they pretended they might opt out. They're uncomfortable with the prospect of not being associated with a respected school or company, since they've always had that. Traveling without a plan is a way to rehearse the improvisational approach, and opens your mind to the sense of adventure. You learn to trust the laws of chance. Perhaps, when you get home, you'll be willing to do the same.
When you subdue these fears, they no longer guard the gates, and you invite the truth into your life."
My thoughts exactly, Po.
Friday, September 11, 2009
September 11th
I'd like to take the time to pay my respects to the fallen of 9/11, truly an incident that we shan't forgive nor ever forget, though sadly, with it being eight years after, more are capable of doing as their memories deceive them (Guilty -- I'm one of them). United We Stand, remember? Lest we forget.
To the men and women who were lost on this fateful day: God bless you and your families, God bless America.
To the men and women who were lost on this fateful day: God bless you and your families, God bless America.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Mis Amigas
I hugged my friend Esther for a good four minutes tonight. Hard. She goes to school at Williams College in Massachusetts and I won't get to see her until next June or July 2010. That will be almost a year from now. Sure, we've lived on opposite coasts for the past three years during school, but I've always seen her, and other out-of-state friends, during breaks.
What dawned on me tonight as I said bye to Esther after a night of future-talk with her and my friend Kimmy was not really the daunting reality that I will be gone from home longer than I've ever been when I leave for Thailand in October -- no, the prospect of such an adventure excites and fuels me -- but rather, how utterly grateful I am for my girl friends. Mis amigas.
Our group of girl friends is a rarity. Most females engage in catty behavior when gathered en masse (cue sorority stories), but, for the most part, not us. Some of us have known each other since our middle school years, or the height of our awkwardness; others joined the pack in high school, where our bonds strengthened, rather than cracked (a miracle!). I attribute, without an inkling of hesitation, many of my positive qualities to these girls, all of whom were my peer role models and motivational figures, though I or we didn't know it at the time. Go-getters and achievers; humble and down-to-earth; silly and fun; adventurous; spontaneous; athletic and artsy: I was surrounded by the best. The cream of the crop. Beautiful girls in their own rights who influenced me in positive ways.
Then, college. Nay did we drift, despite the miles or exams or other friends that separated us. We all made new companions and befriended college buddies who stayed up and studied til the crack of dawn with us in our respective, deserted libraries, but always, always a phone call, a text, a Facebook message, an email from at least one friend-from-home a day to remind us all that we still were thinking of each other. Like a connect-the-dots figure, we've all grown into our own entities with our friends as the lines and dots to support us.
It's only fitting that my best friends have emerged from my home town. They hold the most foundational place in my heart and know the real me. I adore my college friends and know I'll make many more in the future, but never will they replace these girls. Bring on Med School, Dental School, Law School, Grad School, career changes and out-of-state or even out-of-country moves. Years have already passed and I expect many more to, as well. But if we're going at this rate, we'll never drift. We're like family. They're my sisters. And I am so, so grateful for them.
(Plus they know too much about me and I can't let them blackmail me in the future. Jokes.)
<3
What dawned on me tonight as I said bye to Esther after a night of future-talk with her and my friend Kimmy was not really the daunting reality that I will be gone from home longer than I've ever been when I leave for Thailand in October -- no, the prospect of such an adventure excites and fuels me -- but rather, how utterly grateful I am for my girl friends. Mis amigas.
Our group of girl friends is a rarity. Most females engage in catty behavior when gathered en masse (cue sorority stories), but, for the most part, not us. Some of us have known each other since our middle school years, or the height of our awkwardness; others joined the pack in high school, where our bonds strengthened, rather than cracked (a miracle!). I attribute, without an inkling of hesitation, many of my positive qualities to these girls, all of whom were my peer role models and motivational figures, though I or we didn't know it at the time. Go-getters and achievers; humble and down-to-earth; silly and fun; adventurous; spontaneous; athletic and artsy: I was surrounded by the best. The cream of the crop. Beautiful girls in their own rights who influenced me in positive ways.
Then, college. Nay did we drift, despite the miles or exams or other friends that separated us. We all made new companions and befriended college buddies who stayed up and studied til the crack of dawn with us in our respective, deserted libraries, but always, always a phone call, a text, a Facebook message, an email from at least one friend-from-home a day to remind us all that we still were thinking of each other. Like a connect-the-dots figure, we've all grown into our own entities with our friends as the lines and dots to support us.
It's only fitting that my best friends have emerged from my home town. They hold the most foundational place in my heart and know the real me. I adore my college friends and know I'll make many more in the future, but never will they replace these girls. Bring on Med School, Dental School, Law School, Grad School, career changes and out-of-state or even out-of-country moves. Years have already passed and I expect many more to, as well. But if we're going at this rate, we'll never drift. We're like family. They're my sisters. And I am so, so grateful for them.
(Plus they know too much about me and I can't let them blackmail me in the future. Jokes.)
<3
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